Dating: A Cautionary Tale

Well... I went on a date Saturday night.

It has taken me a few days to write this out because I was still processing the events.  It was that much.. er.. fun.

It was my first date since breaking up with Adam three months ago. 

This guy and I have been talking online a bit.  We talked on the phone the night before and decided to go have dinner and see what happened.  He seemed like a nice enough guy. He had just moved from a small town in Tennessee and did not know anybody in town.

What could it hurt, right?

Since he is new to town, so he asked me to pick a dining spot where he has never been.  I thought and thought and came up with a few possibilities. 

I decided to drive, in case we ended up riding around or looking at parts of Charlotte that he had not yet seen.  Somebody did that for me right after I moved, so I thought it would be fun to return the favor.

When he hopped into my car after we met, the first thing I noticed was the odor.  I seriously think that he had taken a bath in his cologne.  It was a cloud.  That would be okay if it was something nice, but I honestly believe that he was wearing Brut or some other cologne that I have given as a Father's Day present in years past. 

I generally do not wear cologne and am kinda picky about the smells, so this was a bad thing.  Thankfully, my windows were already down or else I would probably have suffocated shortly after meeting him.

The first order of business was trying to figure out where to dine.  I had come up with a fairly impressive list of places to go.  I was trying to show him Charlotte and what it had to offer.  Every suggestion that I threw out was met by some kind of objection.  It was weird.

While I was hoping to go somewhere nice or whatever, we ended up at Applebee's.  We were gonna be eatin' good in the neighborhood.

The conversation was fairly easygoing on the drive to the restaurant.  When we got seated and after we had ordered, that stream dried up in a big way.  I used every topic from my vast repertoire within the first few minutes. 

Then, the massive cricket choir joined me and chirped their little hearts out.

It was sad.  I was asking all kinds of questions and basically receiving yes or no responses, which is not the way to get to know somebody.  Those questions were never asked back to me, so he still knows virtually nothing about me.

We finally got on the topic of housing.  He had moved into a weird Craigslist living situation like I had when I first moved here.  He was in a bad situation with scary roommates and a nasty house.

That day, he had started moving out and into a new place.  He had taken several pics of the old and new places and started showing me.  The pics were cool and he is definitely in a better living situation than before.

Then, he decided to text some of the pictures to his brother.

It took him fifteen to twenty minutes to do this.

During that time, I was not being talked to and not talking to him.  It was awful.  I have a strict no texting or doing anything with the phone on dates rule and I broke that.  I was texting everybody, hoping that somebody was having an emergency or needing me for something.

The cricket choir was certainly earning their tips that night, let me tell you.

When he had gotten all the pictures sent, the server brought our check.  It was one of those times where I am sure that she could read my expression and was hoping to bail me out. 

I pulled out my credit card.  When he saw me do this, he said that he would get his part.  I was sitting there thinking "yes, you will". 

I am on the broke side right now, so I had water with my dinner in an effort to keep it cheap.  The bill was under $10, so all was well.

He hemmed and hawed, but never put his money into the bill envelope thingy.   He went to the bathroom and told me to let her take my portion and he would get his in a second.  She did and I was cashed out and (very) ready to go.

When he got back, he realized that he did not have his card on him.  He thought that it might still be in the shorts he had worn when visiting the grocery store earlier in the day. 

He pulled out a check and wrote it out, which I knew was not going to be taken.  It wasn't.  Who takes checks these days, anyway?  I used to write tons of checks to restaurants... back in 1995!

(You can see where this is going, right?)

The inevitable question of "can you get this for me" came out then.

I must say that I did get a little bit of enjoyment over the idea of him scrubbing at dishes in the back with rubber gloves.  However, I figured I had to pay it if for no other reason than to get me the heck out of there.  

I paid for his dinner and his three beers, which was well over double what my bill had been.  When we were settled up and ready to go, I just about hit a sprint to get outside the doors to the restaurant.

When we arrived back at his car, he would not get out.  I wanted to push him out the door, but tried to remember my good Southern upbringing.  Finally, he was gone after about 10 minutes of stupid chatter.

He ended by saying "I guess I owe you dinner.  We should do this again."

Um.  No.

Is this what I have to look forward to in the dating world?

Grrrrr.

Stay tuned...

Comments

[leah]

So sorry! but you made me laugh today! Hoping you have a better one soon!

[Sarah (potterknitter)]

Wow, sounds like a prize winner there!

[trillian42]

I should email you my phone number. I'm more than willing to respond to a 911 page with an "OMG You need to come rescue me. My car broke down in the scariest part of town" phone call. He wouldn't need to know that I live 7 hours away. :D

I'm sorry it went so crappy, hon. Just remember - sometimes you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince.

[Alicia P]

OMG! What a nightmare!

[Rachel]

You didn't say anything about having to pay for his three beers. Oh my goodness. And that didn't loosen up the conversation. I'm so sorry. This is part of why I get out there so seldom.

[chris]

good lord! that was excruciating!! mainly because i can totally picture the whole event. i am glad you got outta there without any other incident. and i hope this has not deterred you from keeping yourself out there, a good one is just waiting for you!!

[kelly]

awww J.P. you definitely need to take SEPARATE cars next time you could have bailed when he was in the bathroom....
Did make me giggle though :)

[knitxcore]

yuk! that's just plain horrible.
i probably would have left while he was in the bathroom.
i don't have the best manners anymore.

[Zonda]

Yikes, that was a bummer!! ((hugs))

[Stacey]

oh man, that sucks. I've been on several first dates like that. Good luck next time! :)

[Enid]

aw, poor you.still you must have heard the saying ''take the rough with the smooth''?
as stated above, don't let this experience stop you dating. every day is a learning curve that we have to go along.
good that you remembered manners, even tho' they hurt your wallet.
perhaps, next time, it is agreed from the off that the first date is going dutch, and you each show proof? may seem extreme, but in these financial climes, needs must
take care
xx

[Suzanne]

Oh, I'm so sorry. I hate first dates!!!

[Jody]

Ugh - I'm having flashbacks to bad dates of my past!! So sorry to hear it was horrible. My worste date consisted of a guy starting to cry over his meal... ya... still don't know why! He never explained - just started crying! Hope it wasn't me!!

[Jane]

Wow, that was truly horrendous! I'm sorry you had to go through that, and pay for it on top of things, but it's probably worth taking the loss to never have to see him again. Ick! Better luck next time. You'll find a winner, I'm sure.

[Stacey _CrimsonPurl]

Ugh...and I thought my date was bad a couple of weeks ago....we gotta go out and catch up...and I promise not to smell/text/and pay my bill LOL ;)

[Nichole D.]

Awww. Sorry you had to deal with that! At least you drove, so he couldn't just flake out on you in the restaurant. Hope the next one is better!

[kontan]

I am so sorry to laugh, but you tell it so well! Sorry, but Applebee's? Of all the totally cool Charlotte places that was all he would agree on? *sigh* You have my number and I will be happy to provide an emergency any time!

[Susie]

I think you were lucky to get away with just buying him dinner. What a jerk!

[Andrew]

I would have just left when he went to the bathroom. Jk I hope you didn't put out!

[Joe]

He had his checkbook but not his debit/credit card? What's that about? Welcome back to the dating world!?

[PlazaJen]

Well my mouth was catchin' flies by the time I was halfway through this post, and stiffing you with the bill didn't help shut it. How awful, hon! What a smelly loser. At least you were able to tell immediately, and keep your investment to a minimum!

[John]

This will be the worst date you will have. They DO, and will, get better!