a ball of yarn and a remote control

Letting Go...

Have you ever needed to do something, but just couldn't bring yourself to do it?  I did something big last night that hurt a lot, but the outcome was great.  Or will be soon.

I have been seeing a guy (who we will call K) for several months.  It was a very casual thing, but it started to mean more to me than it did to him.  

There were a few weird um.. quirks.. that I am not going to go into, but just know that it was interesting at first.  We met and got close and eventually started dating pretty exclusively, but those things came into play quite a bit in the beginning.  They started to not be so worrysome later.. but they were replaced by new worries for me.

I crave a committed, stable and long term relationship with somebody who I can grow to be old married folk with.  That's what I want and if you have stuck with my blog for any amount of time (bless your heart), you know this.  

Simply put, he is not in the same place as me.  He and I were on different wavelengths with it, but somehow made it work for quite a while.  It got to be comfortable and he sorta became my "practice boyfriend."  

Another big thing to me is that my friends hated him.   When K and I went out on dates, we would pretty much go to the same places and go alone.  None of my friends wanted to join us.  That's hard, especially when you adore and respect your friends' opinions as much as I do.

Two or three weeks ago, I ended things with him.  It was just time.  I needed to quit fooling myself into thinking that anything would change.  I knew it wouldn't, so I did it.  

I told him that I couldn't be in that kind of toxic-y relationship any longer.  I told him that I did not want to kick him out of my life, but couldn't continue in the same capacity because it would eventually make me crazy.  He understood and was a bit sad, but knew my reasoning and was okay with it.

I figured that there would be time for us to be apart and all before resuming contact, but we were chatting the next day.  I figured it probably was not the smartest thing, but I did it anyway.  

A few days ago, he told me about a date he had been on the night before.  Turns out that I knew the guy and everything kind of became real.  He told me too many of the sordid details and my mind just changed.  I went from jealousy to mad to upset and knew that something had to give.

So.. last night, I had a really long chat with him and told him that I needed to break communication with him.  I originally said "for a while", but I think we both know it is forever.   It was really nice because I had a chance to talk over and air out all of my "issues" in a very nice way and made certain that he understood why and wouldn't have a bad taste in his mouth with me.  It was mature and a very good way to end, if there is such a thing.   For once in my life, I got closure.

We parted as friends, which made me feel good.   I know it was for the best, but I have to say that it ripped my heart apart.  The dam broke and it was messy for a bit, but I made it through.  The ugly cry happened, but it was good... I needed to let it out.

I do have to take a second here and point out that cutting somebody out of your life is hard work in this day and age!  There was the whole unfriending on Facebook, deleting phone numbers and text files, removing from buddy lists and a few other things.   

My heart hurt a lot last night, but I slept on it and woke up to a brand new day.  Today was a really good day and I feel like my dating karma or whatever is cleansed now.  

I am ready for whatever (or whoever) comes my way. 

Hey Life, bring it on!  

Happy Valentine's Day and Happy Beginning of the Rest of My Life!

Stay tuned...

Howdy!

Okay, so I have been out of the blogging world for a long time. 

A really long time.

I can remember having something happen and then rush back here to update, so that the blogosphere could laugh at whatever stupid thing had just gone on in my life.  

After a long time of not having that outlet, I miss it.  I miss the interaction between the people brave enough to keep up with me, as well as being able to vent or share fun things.

Somebody asked me about something that happened to me a few years ago, so I came back to the blog and linked them to the post about it.  In looking for it, it really made me miss blogging.

I guess I'm back. 

That is, if Facebook or my Scentsy business doesn't reel me back into the murky depths of wherever I have been hiding. 

Maybe blogging will be my New Year's resolution.  On second thought, it is probably best that it isn't because then I am more likely to stop by January 3...

So.. hello.  Again.

Stay tuned...

Wow...

I just stumbled upon a blog post that somebody posted on Facebook that made me tear up a bit.

Take a few seconds and read this.

It makes me wonder how my parents would have reacted if I had put them in that situation.  They are amazing, but I do not know if they would have been as wonderful as this lady.  Her son is very lucky to have her, regardless of how he turns out in the future.

I now feel the need to follow her blog.

Stay tuned...

 

Introducing..

Another new addition to my life is a little side business.

A few years ago, I used to be into rubber stamping and scrapbooking.  This led me to sign up as a demonstrator for a great company.  I had tons of fun and actually made some money and a bunch of friends through doing it.  I went to their yearly convention each year and had a blast!  Life got in the way and I eventually dropped out, but always missed being a part of something like that.

Well, I have found another company that I really like.

I have been hearing a lot about this company for a while, but had not really looked into it.  I kept seeing fun things on Facebook or on their website.  Finally, I asked on my Facebook page if anybody knew of a consultant and got hooked up with a great one.  After talking to her for a bit, I decided to just take the plunge and sign up to become a consultant.

So... I am now an Independent Scentsy Consultant.

Everybody who knows me is aware that I adore candles.  I love the light they give, along with the smell of the different kinds.  Scents can trigger memories and that makes me so happy.  I love nothing more than to sit around and enjoy the warmth that comes from them.

Scentsy is basically candles, but with a twist.  It is wax being warned over a light bulb.  The cool thing is that the wax smells gooooood! 

Here is a pic of a warmer that comes out today, so that you will have an idea of how they look.

We offer over 80 scents, so you can imagine that there is just about anything imaginable.  With my starter kit, I received testers of each of the scents and have been having a lot of fun smelling each one.  It is so hard to pick my top favorites.. I like them all! 

I have been warming different scents in my apartment and it smells wonderful!  The best part is that I don't have to worry about burning down the place because there is not any fire involved.  It is just a matter of turning the light bulb on and then the smell starts.  I kinda miss the flicker of the flame, but the smell is really strong and just as great.

I am hoping to be able to launch this business and build a nice customer base, but I am going to take  my time and see how it goes.  I am so not a pushy person, so it will be a slow process.

This is going to be fun.

(In case you are curious, here is my Scentsy website and here is a Facebook group that I started to talk about it.)

Okay.. plug over.

Stay tuned...

 

Hello, again...

*tap tap*

*tap tap*

Is this thing on?

<insert microphone feedback sound>

The last few months have been weird for me.  I can't quite put my finger on the what or why, but they have been odd.  I think it has just been a blah blah blah few months.

I have been wanting to blog, but have had nothing blogworthy to share.  There have been thoughts of "oh, I should blog that" and I have composed some great posts in my head, but they are gone as fast as they arrived. 

Over the last few weeks, however, a few cool things have happened.

I had the chance to really surprise a friend a few weeks ago.   I have been friends with my pal Rachel since the second day of kindergarten.  Her son is my nephew, even though we are not related by blood.  He is in 8th grade this year and is marching with the high school band.  I had been trying to make it to one of the games this whole year, but just could not get it scheduled.   The perfect time to go presented itself and I managed to go home and get to the game.   It was such a great night!  I got to see a ton of my friends from home, plus surprise her big time.  The look on her face was priceless!  The band is really good now and their show was a very good one.  It made me long to be back with them.. for a minute or two!

Over the last few weeks, I have also become reconnected with a friend from my past.  Nicole and I used to work together at Walt Disney World.  We did the parade together and hung out some, but it was always in big groups.  I never really hung out with her one on one, but always liked her.  Through Facebook, we have gotten re-acquainted and have gotten to be great friends.  I am happy to have her in my life again, even though she is all the way in California!

Another good thing is kind silly, but big to me.  I am out from under Time Warner Cable!  I have had problems with my cable and/or internet for ages.  It would be smooth sailing and then all of a sudden, I would have big time issues.  I found out that I could get cable and internet through AT&T U-Verse and switched.  So far, it has been wonderful!  I even gained a few channels, which is probably a bad thing! 

Sadly, I have not been crafting much of anything lately.  I have a secret project that I work on from time to time, but no big progress has been made within the last few weeks. 

I have a few other things to share, but I will tell you about those in later posts.  (Nothing romantic, so don't get excited!)

Stay tuned...

Boot Camp - Day One

I meant to post last night, but time got away from me.

I am happy to report that I made it through my first day of boot camp.. well, mostly.

Intense is a word that could be used for the workout that we were given.  Hellacious could be another.

The class had nine people, which was the perfect size.  They all seemed to be supportive of one another.  I can see becoming close to this group as time goes along.

My first impression of the instructor (Doug) is that he is not as bad as I imagined.  He seems to be one of those people who will push you, but not over what you can physically do. He really knows his stuff and took time here and there to correct how I was doing things, but not in a mean way.

The one thing that darkened the day a bit was that I saw my breakfast for the second time.  Twice.  That is a sign of working hard, right?  Ugh.

I made it through 2.5 of the 5 reps, so I feel that I did well.

We will see how tomorrow goes, but I really think that I will eventually be able to do (and maybe like) this workout.

Hopefully.

Stay tuned...

Skeered...

I am starting something in the morning and I am a bit nervous about it.

Okay.. a lot nervous.

A few months ago, my best friend Cameron saw that there was a Groupon coupon that he was thinking about getting.  (If you don't get Groupon for your city, stop reading now and go sign up.. I'll wait...)  He texted me and told me to look at the coupon and see if I was interested.  I did and decided to take his suggestion and bought it. Bought two of them.

What the coupon got me was 12 visits to a local boot camp.  Er... 24 because of the double coupon.  

Tomorrow is the first class.  

Tomorrow at 6am.  Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 6am.  For at least the next two months.

Ugh.

If you know me at all, you know that I am not a morning person, so being across town by then is going to hurt.

I have not met the trainer, but Cameron has.  The trainer, Doug, scared him.  Therefore, I am scared.

Here is a pic of Doug that I stole off their site...

He has a sadistic look about him, doesn't he?

Oh well, I guess that I will meet Mr. Pain bright and early tomorrow.

Maybe I will be so sleepy that I will not remember it.

Doubt it.

I know that it will be very good for me, but I am still really nervous.

Oh well..  I'm off to bed.

That alarm is going to be early.

Sigh.

Stay tuned...

Memories..

Last week, I bought a scanner.  It's one of those things that I have been wanting for a while, but have just not broken down and bought.  I noticed a cheap-ish one in a sale paper and went for it.

When I got it hooked up and going, I decided to delve into the four big picture storage boxes in the top of one of my closets.

Here are some of the pictures that I have scanned so far..

   

Going through these boxes has been totally bittersweet for me.  

I look at this kid in his early twenties and see lots of things in his eyes. 

That kid was wide eyed and innocent.  Everything was new to him, as he had just left all he knew to go to a new place where he knew no one.  He adapted and met a wonderful group of people that eventually became some of the best friends he will ever have.  He lived for his job and never worried about much.  He knew that he would be okay, no matter what happened to him. 

Now, that kid is grown up and everything is not all happy and shiny. 

He still has the memories, but would kind of like to go back in time to feel that innocence again.

And to dance with Baloo...  

..just one more time.

Stay tuned...

Stitches South...

Last Saturday, Cristi and I took a little road trip to Atlanta for Stitches South. 

We had such a great time at the event last year that we just had to go again.  As you can imagine, it was one of those yarn overload kind of times.  There were new yarns and goodies, along with tons and tons of knitters.

There were some interesting fashions, too.  We kept joking that we should start a blog called People of Yarn Shows to resemble People of Wal-Mart. 

Check this gal out:

(mercilessly ripped from Cristi, who was brave enough to Kinnear her)

What you can't see is her huge head scarf thing and the rather large bell shaped earrings that she was sporting.  We kept bumping into her.    I heard somebody (and I don't remember who) say at least she had on pants!  Oy!

We also got to knit on a very big sock.  It is really cool to think of the tons of knitters who have added their stitches to this monstrosity.  I am just happy to not be the one turning the heel!

Seeing friends is the absolute best thing about going to events like these. 

It was great to see the Atlanta contingent once again.  I really enjoy seeing everybody and wish that I could see them more.  One of these days, I am gonna go down there and join them on a knit night.  

My pal Jane was there, but I didn't get to spend nearly as much time with her as I would have liked.  I also got to hang out with Brittany and Wayne, which is always a hoot.   Wayne was wearing a kilt and that was probably boosting their yarn and yarn bowl sales!  

I also got to meet the brains behind Ravelry.  Jess, Casey and Mary Heather were there and I got to say hey and thank you to them.

I used to follow Jess's blog way before Ravelry was even an idea, so it was nice to finally meet her.  Her blog was one of the first I ever found.  She impressed me because she replied whenever I left a comment and I have tried to model myself after that. 

It was fun to meet them...

However, the coolest thing about the show was that I finally got to meet Heatherly.  She and I have been emailing and reading each other's blogs for years.  That is the part of the online knitting community that I love.  We are total strangers, yet know each other so well.  It was so much fun to actually be two feet away from one another instead of miles and miles.  She is as much fun as I figured!  

She and her husband have created the most awesome pattern charting software and were selling it at the marketplace.  It is called Intwined Pattern Studio and it is awesome!  I am not a designer (yet), but will be using this software whenever that happens.  It looks really cool and I highly recommend it.  Cristi was convinced and went home with a copy, so be watching her blog for tons of new designs that I know she will create with it.

Speaking of Cristi, she got interviewed for something while she was there.  I am not sure what it was for, but Brittany's mom did her interview and Wayne ran the camera.  It was kinda cool to watch, even though I have no clue what it was actually for.

You are probably wondering what I bought, aren't you?  I really kinda blew my budget, but it was money well spent.  There is a garment that I want to make and I found the perfect fiber for it.  I will show you when I can get a decent pic, so keep watching the blog.

Stitches fell on my father's birthday this year.  I told him that I was going to be in Atlanta, so he and my mom drove up from Alabama and had dinner with us.  We ate a yummy meal and then hung out at a bookstore for a bit.  Atlanta is the halfway point from home to Charlotte, so it worked out well. 

It was great to be able to see my wonderful parents, along with so many friends that I enjoy being around.

I can't wait to go again next year!

Stay tuned...

Surprises..

I had a very crappy day today. 

It was one of those days of work that was too busy for its own good.   I was already tired, so the constant stream of work did not help.  Needless to say, I was very happy to get home when it was finally over.

The first thing I do when I get home is to check my mail.  I moved into a new apartment about 3 or 4 weeks ago, so I am not getting everything at the new place yet. 

When I opened the box, there was an envelope.  I have not really been expecting anything, so it was a surprise.

I saw return address and my heart stopped for a beat or two.  It was from Laurie, otherwise known as Crazy Aunt Purl.

You will remember that I met her a few years ago.  She was signing books in Nashville and I took a road trip to see her.  It worked out so that she and I got to actually talk one on one for a bit after the signing ended.  She has always been one of my quasi-heroes, so it was a very welcome surprise to receive an envelope from her. 

When I opened the envelope, this is what I found...

Upon opening the book, I found this...

I was so excited that she autographed it!

Then I noticed that there was a card..

That said this..

Is that not the coolest? 

Her sweetness could not have come at a better time for me. It totally turned my day around, let me tell you.

Now.. if I can just make it through the rest of the week. 

I am Stitches South bound this weekend, so Saturday cannot get here fast enough!

Stay tuned...